Citatepedia^®.com

Czechmate!

'I won't be back 'til very late, '
The note from her had read,
He poured himself another drink
And headed off to bed,
She often spent the night away
Carousing with 'the girls',
The forty-something's group of them
Out on their monthly whirls.

They'd known each other all their lives
From kindergarten on,
Had played with beads and Barbi dolls,
With lipstick on the lawn,
They'd had the odd pyjama nights
Had ogled all the males,
And giggled through their early teens
At love, and lovers tales.

And now they'd all been married off
For twenty years or more,
Their nights were spent in darkened bars
Where some had hoped to score,
With jaded lives, they gossiped there,
At every fault, the blame
Was laid right at the husband's door,
At every husband's name.

And so it was with Mary Jean
Who said that she was bored,
She said her husband Jack was tired,
He lay in bed and snored,
The days of making love had gone
She lay awake at night,
Frustrated in the marriage bed
That once had brought delight.

At home, her husband Jack, asleep
Had dreamt of other things,
Of dancing nymphs who never spoke
To him of boring things,
Who never held their hands out every
Payday for his cheque,
But fed him loving tit-bits, kissed
His feet, and pecked his neck.

Then sometime in the early hours
He heard the bedroom door
Creak open, as his wife returned
Tip-toeing on the floor,
He tried to cling to sleep, to keep
Immersed within his dream,
But then his eyes flew open as
He heard the woman scream.

She threw her handbag at him,
Hit him fair across the face,
Then started yelling something and
He heard the word 'disgrace! '
He struggled to sit up as she
Hurled insults at his head,
And then he realized that
Someone else lay in his bed.

He looked, quite disbelieving
At the blond head lying there,
That lay upon the pillow,
Fast asleep, without a care,
Her painted lips were parted in
A sexy, loving pout,
As if a sudden climax had
Hit home, and knocked her out.

'I've never seen...' he went to say
But Mary Jean had gone,
Was stomping down the stairway
Shouting curses at the moon,
The blond leapt up and smiled at him
And said: 'I'm sorry, Jack! '
Then as she left: 'You should have known,
You have to watch your back! '

The papers for divorce, they were
Delivered, just on noon,
Demanding half the house and all
His Super, called the tune!
He stood accused, adultery,
And in the marriage bed,
While Jack sat down and tore his hair,
He wished that he was dead!

He phoned the band of sisters, phoned
And spoke to every one,
He asked about the night before,
Just what was going on?
They wouldn't give away a thing,
Stonewalled, and left him lost,
'Til one broke down: 'So sorry Jack,
She planned it - you've been crossed! '

She told him of an agency that
Figured out these things,
An office in a little street that
Specialized in 'Stings',
He took a trip downtown and then
He hung around 'til late,
The sign above the door, it said:
'Divorces! - see Czechmate! '

At eight o'clock, a blond came tripping
Out into the street,
He recognized that pretty face,
The blond between the sheets!
He cornered her and made her spill
The beans, she looked quite scared,
It seemed that Mary Jean had paid
For her to grace his bed.

His wife had been unfaithful with
The owner of the place,
A little Czech called Pavel, so
She wanted her own space.
She thought that she could score off him
If she could tap his guilt,
But Jack had other plans now that
Her secret had been spilt.

He scribbled out a note and gave it
Folded to the blond,
And told her to deliver it
Before she could abscond.
He wrote, 'I hate to tell you this,
Your little scheme has failed!
About the money, honey -
Well, the Czech is in the Male! '

22 June 2009

poem by David Lewis Paget
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!