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My Testicles Ache

Father in Heaven, I don't like to grumble,
You know I've always been obedient and humble,
But I have to say I dislike intensely
The way that the dice are always loaded against me!

Why can't I make love to a gorgeous blonde
Who'll take me to heaven and further beyond,
Who'll give me a taste of Your Paradise -
Let's face it, my God, wouldn't it be nice! ?

Instead I am left with my third-rate dreams
Of a lover who's falling apart at the seams -
She's fat and she's ugly and she doesn't care -
I could have hoped for better despite my grey hair!

Be merciful, Lord, and give me a break,
I feel quite delirious! My testicles ache!

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