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0194 At last

At last I’m old enough

old enough not to be
embarrassed when
it happens

it can be when
some athlete stands
and mouths the words of
their national anthem
as the flag waves

or a young musician
makes their first, fresh
debut playing some
often played classic
as if it had never
been played before

or a cloud passes and
the sunlight reaches into
the room and says
look at this crystal vase,
look at this flower
look at this dewdrop

or someone who was anyone
a moment ago
smiles

oh so many so little big things and
my chest heaves, shudders,
and my heart not my eyes
is shaking with tears which
cannot be explained but
only recognised for
whence they come
beyond tears

at last I’m old enough
not to be embarrassed
by this joy
though
I make the excuse
to go into another room
in case

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