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Lies My Abuser Told Me

my abuser said,
nobody would ever love me,
i believed him,
so i pushed ppl away,
he said i was to blame,
i believed it,
becuz i was just a kid,
he said i was his special little girl,
i felt like it at times,
but it was not worth the pain i feel now,
he said nobody will believe me,
he was right,
nobody did believe me at the time,
he said i was only good for one thing,
i believed him,
i was his special little girl,
he said i was pretty,
it was the reason he liked me alot,
and treated me differently,
he said and he told me,
all of these things plus more,
i was a child,
it was hard to figure out,
what was right and wrong,
when you consently being told,
do you trust me?
there should be no problem,
but these words still ring in my mind,
how can i trust somebody,
who leaves me in pain when we done?
how can i trust somebody,
who force a child to do something,
they clearly don't want to do?
how can you trust somebody,
who continue to put you down,
just so you feel like you doing something wrong,
how can you trust somebody,
who gives a child a beer just so she will loosen up?
when tears were falling down my face,
and i was begging you to stop,
did you even ease up just once?
no you didn't,
you forced my head down on you,
and told me to stop crying,
who does that?
you selfish prick,
i hope you rot in hell.

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