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A Papers Width

It’s been contemplated
Its been planned and thought out
There’s no one home
No one to see
No one to hear
No one to know
Sense
Detect
No one to stop me
I close the blinds
Turn off the lights
I draw the gun from my pocket
And press it to my head
The barrel is cool as it touches
My finger is on the trigger about to break glass
“Do it, it will all be over soon”
“No! Don’t listen! Do not be tempted so easily”
“Its OK just squeeze it, you won’t feel a thing”
“It’s a lie, it might be quick but you’ll feel it! ”
“But you’ll escape, show them the pain they caused you”
“You’ll only hurt more people if you do it.
you’re holding the gun! Decide now! ”
I have the gun
I have to decide
Please someone stop me I don’t want to do it
My hand begins to tighten
Someone help me
The hammer drops
The bullet will fly through me
It will soon be the last thing in my mind
What happened?
The gun stopped!
The hammer stopped just before striking the bullet
The space was small only a papers width
As was my mind to do it or not
With my plan foiled I hide the gun
I sit by the door and think about what I almost had done.

Written: September 8,2006

poem by Ryan Collins
Added by Poetry Lover
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