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Looking for Encouragement in ICU

He's gone
I never saw him go
Surprised that he fell

I thought he would get up
At first he looked like he'd be OK
He was upset that he'd slipped

Confused that the legs hadn't held
The strength that steadied
The foot and braced the legs

Held at the smoker in 1932
When three solid lefts
Couldn't take him down

Held when the Hammond trim saw kicked
Held on the wet rocks of Redwood Creek
When the salmon jumped and were on

Held splitting a second cord of wood
While after loading the first
I thought I needed a break

Now when he needed it most
They didn't hold they gave
Yet he somehow still held on

Over the ledge I could see him there
He was pulling himself up
Or at least I wanted him to

I tried to talk to him
I got his attention
He silently shook his head

The same as when we hunted
When I thought I had a clear shot
And he knew I didn't

He always challenged me
No matter what I did
To be a better shot

'We're not out here to wound
Chase down a revine then
Drag bloodshoot venison through the brush.

We're out here to put meat on the table.'
He also knew when to fish
And where the quail hid

He always encouraged me
To know what I was doing
Before I did it

'Its real important you learn
The difference between your ass
And a hole in the ground.'

Was his way
Of putting it
I knew what he meant

Shaking his head I recognized his signal
I still wanted to help even though
I couldn't have gotten to him anyway

Then he stopped trying
The strength and gruffness were gone
I was mad at him

For the tears in his eyes
For not trying
For knowing more than me

He knew there was no way up
The others calling to him
Were of no use

I knew then what he wanted
To push away from the side
To be over and done with it

He was caught tangled held back
He couldn't even let go
When he wanted to

I looked and he was there
I couldn't help
I didn't want to watch

I looked again
He was gone
I never saw him go

poem by Tom J. Mariani
Added by Poetry Lover
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