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Tales of miss tardy

I was late forra may wurk

ma buss went buzzurk

An pulled out a toe nail or two

Wen ar walked away in incredible pain

He cried 'An yee better noot be goin of ill


So the neext day I took a pill and caught tha first train

But it stalled just before ma station

I treed ta sneek in the back room


but ma boss jumped out witha broom, from his cramped wurrak station!

He wacked me reel hard on ma wee head

Da yee know it's a crime to not ta kim on time

hav yee just crawled outta ya wee bed?

Wenn aye tried ta explain

He ignired ma excuse and beckoned me to his white room


Where he pulled from a drawer some giant metal claws

And pulled out a toe nail or two

As I hopped to the door

He cried 'WAIT! there is more, I haven't finished with you'


As aye tried to escape he rounded on me like an ape

And demanded that I kiss his feet

Then he force fed me stale bread and a bright golden egg

and a magic mushroom he had grown in his shoe

For tha resta tha week I cudnah bare speak

An came ta ma wurrak on time

But the day is a blur


my tongues fulla fur


And the cleaner found me a week later

in the stationary cupboard


wuura aye was placed


Bay ma borse forra peace o mind


My clothes wurra rank

but a was always onna time


sleepin under the clock by the fish tank

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