The Anguish Of Arthur's blighted breath
Cold, solitary, Arther, now a middle aged man,
Lived alone with his cat called'Alice'
And drove a small white van
Plagued by diffidence and hallitosis
Afflicted by neurosis
Arther walked the streets alone.
Friends that he had known at school
Had left him stranded by year nine
He told his mother everything was 'fine'
His favourite word to cover up the hurt
He failed to find a wife
Or even flirt
While all his friends were married, mortgaged, and insured
Arther sat alone in cafes being 'ignored'
By all the lovers, friends, and families
Once he recalled he nearly kissed a girl called 'emily'
But as he drew near to plant a pecker on her cheek
She recoiled in horror at his green teeth, and cried
'Did you eat an onion for your tea? something smells
rotten, and I know it isn't me! '
One childhood trauma that had left deep scars
So Arther turned his attention to his cat, and car
And played bingo every wednesday week at nine
The number caller was called Doris, she was thirty nine,
And over drinks and crisps she asked him out to dine,
Flustered feeling awkward he replied.
'That's fine! '
Though she was a midget with a nervous tick
He resolved to kiss her on the date and get it over quick
Before she got a whiff of his disgusting breath
And put an end to his last chance at happiness
But Doris was endowed with potent olifactory sense
She's smelt him from a hundred yards but gave no hint
And as he bent down to kiss her, she shoved in a mint.
They were married in a shower of aromatic bliss
And joyful Arther, forever sucked upon a peppermint! !
poem by Yvette Smith
Added by Poetry Lover
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