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2010/02/22 Forgave

I managed a major faux pas today
blood-sugar stabilizing peanuts -
eating too much, suddenly swelling
in my head causing debilitating pain:
pain in my ears, pain in my ears, PAIN
PAIN, stopped working, clung to my chair
looked at pictures, looked at nothingness

Painkillers unable to stop the pain in my ears
I lost everything, every hope of completing my
document, every dream of writing something
uplifting or noble or both, all I knew was the pain,
the bitter taste of failure again, once more I could
not complete a translation, could not even recall
the sound or the feel of the dream

The only thing I retained, the assurance I found:
‘I’ll never leave you nor desert you’ - I could not
pin it to anyone, so I assigned it to the Lord of
the New Testament who declared it is all
about love and forgiveness, I forgave
myself and everyone else…

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