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I Still Love the City, But the City Doesn't Love Me

Some have told me the city will ruin me
Some said the city is an ugly place
The city has marred better men than me

I hadn’t lived in the city for quite some time,
But living there again was an amazing experience

The city glowed with a dazzling beauty,
Pumping a vitality in my veins
Through my heart, an exuberant,
Youthful feeling of excitement

I let the city have my heart.
I thought the city gave me hers.
This love was not meant to last.
I had to leave the city for a little while.

The city couldn’t handle the distance,
Provoking the city to eject me from
The city’s heart, ripping and tearing
Until I was only a memory, a fling

So I left the city in search of a new life.
I found myself alone in the desert.
I convinced myself the city was only
A memory locked away

The days were sweltering and arduous,
The nights were frigid and excruciating

These times were spent alone, in silence
Where almost no life is sustainable,
And I ignored the ghosts which
Maliciously brought about vibrant,
Heartwarming thoughts of the city

I turned North, the city far passed
The horizon, though its glimmer
Reaches me still

Its lights do nothing but illuminate
The darkness this desert has
Brought into my heart
And the damage my lungs have
Sustained as they drown in my
Quiet tears

In this moment, I unleashed
An ugly, primal scream
From the depths of my marred soul,
The waves traveling through miles of
Nothingness

It was then when I realized
I still love the city.
But the city doesn’t love me.

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