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Art Buchwald

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

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Healthy Back Bag

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altieri bags

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Young Americans

They pulled in just behind the fridge
He lays her down, he frowns
Gee my lifes a funny thing, am I still too young?
He kissed her then and there
She took his ring, took his babies
It took him minutes, took her nowhere
Heaven knows, shed have taken anything, but
All night
She wants the young american
Young american, young american, she wants the young american
All right
She wants the young american
Scanning life through the picture windows
She finds the slinky vagabond
He coughs as he passes her ford mustang, but
Heaven forbid, shell take anything
But the freak, and his type, all for nothing
He misses a step and cuts his hand, but
Showing nothing, he swoops like a song
She cries where have all papas heroes gone?
All night
She wants the young american
Young american, young american, she wants the young american
All right
She wants the young american
All the way from washington
Her bread-winner begs off the bathroom floor
We live for just these twenty years
Do we have to die for the fifty more?
All night
He wants the young american
Young american, young american, he wants the young american
All right
He wants the young american
Do you remember, your president nixon?
Do you remember, the bills you have to pay
Or even yesterday
Have you been an un-american?
Just you and your idol singing falsetto bout
Leather, leather everywhere, and
Not a myth left from the ghetto
Well, well, well, would you carry a razor
In case, just in case of depression
Sit on your hands on a bus of survivors
Blushing at all the afro-sheilas
Aint that close to love?
Well, aint that poster love?
Well, it aint that barbie doll
Her hearts been broken just like you have
And

[...] Read more

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Young American

They pulled in just behind the fridge
He lays her down, he frowns
"Gee my life's a funny thing, am I still too young?"
He kissed her then and there
She took his ring, took his babies
It took him minutes, took her nowhere
Heaven knows, she'd have taken anything, but
All night
She wants the young American
Young American, young American, she wants the young American
All right
She wants the young American
Scanning life through the picture windows
She finds the slinky vagabond
He coughs as he passes her Ford Mustang, but
Heaven forbid, she'll take anything
But the freak, and his type, all for nothing
He misses a step and cuts his hand, but
Showing nothing, he swoops like a song
She cries "Where have all Papa's heroes gone?"
All night
She wants the young American
Young American, young American, she wants the young American
All right
She wants the young American
All the way from Washington
Her bread-winner begs off the bathroom floor
"We live for just these twenty years
Do we have to die for the fifty more?"
All night
He wants the young American
Young American, young American, he wants the young American
All right
He wants the young American
Do you remember, your President Nixon?
Do you remember, the bills you have to pay
Or even yesterday
Have you been an un-American?
Just you and your idol singing falsetto 'bout
Leather, leather everywhere, and
Not a myth left from the ghetto
Well, well, well, would you carry a razor
In case, just in case of depression
Sit on your hands on a bus of survivors
Blushing at all the afro-Sheilas
Ain't that close to love?
Well, ain't that poster love?
Well, it ain't that Barbie doll
Her heart's been broken just like you have
And

[...] Read more

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Breakdown

Its all right if you love me,
Its all right if you dont,
Im not afraid of you running away honey,
I get the feeling you wont.
Theres no sense in pretending,
(? )
Something inside you, is feeling like I do,
Weve said all there is the say.
Breakdown, honey go ahead and give it to me,
Breakdown, honey take me tonight,
Breakdown, Im standin hear cant you see,
Breakdown, its all right, its all right, its all right.
Its all right if you love me,
Its all right if you dont,
Im not afraid of you running away honey,
I get the feeling you wont,
Its ok if you must go,
Ill understand if you dont,
You say goodbye right now,
Ill still survive somehow,
Why should we let this drag on?
Breakdown, honey go ahead and give it to me,
Breakdown, honey take me tonight,
Breakdown, Im standin hear cant you see,
Breakdown, its all right, its all right, its all right, baby.
Breakdown, honey go ahead and give it to me,
Breakdown, honey take me tonight,
Breakdown, Im standin hear cant you see,
Breakdown, its all right, its all right,
Breakdown, honey go ahead and give it to me,
Breakdown, honey take me to the night,
Breakdown, Im standin hear cant you see,
Breakdown, its all right, its all right,
Breakdown. (to end)

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Cancer Rising

Mind called the meeting with just Heart and Lungs attending:

Mind said:
'What is the problem? '
Heart said:
'I had been pumping as usual last week bringing Blood
back and I noticed that I was a two pints short from the usual flow.'

Lungs said:
'I was pumping oxygen and I noticed it as well. There was a shortage, not enough blood was coming back.'

'So, ' Heart said 'I sent some white blood cells down to the liver to investigate.'
'And, ' Mind said.

'Well, Crystal came back, she is the While Blood cell leader and she said that 'we definitely have problem down there. We have two problems.' she said.

'And? ' Mind said.

'Well first Crystal reported she found a group of cells had all gotten together, just outside the liver and had started to grow out of control, so out of control that they blocked all of the blood flow to the liver such that less blood was getting to Liver and therefore, Liver couldn't do it's job.

'What happened then? ' Mind said.

'Crystal asked who was in charge and a man stepped up and said 'I am.
'His name was CC Crystal told me.'

'So what did this CC have to say for himself? ' Mind said

'He said that since he and his cell friends were pumping enzymes blood and other purfiers to Liver that they wanted to be paid.
Other cells joined in' CC said.
'And soon there were thousands and millions of them clamoring to be paid before they would spend time pumping blood.' Crystal said.

'Liver didn't know what to do.
But, Crystal said:
The more cells that joined CC's group the more of them that had to be paid such that the price kept going up and up and less and less blood was actually being pumped.

'Liver started to turn yellow, ' Crystal said.
'That won't do.' Mind said.

'Let's go down and have a talk with Mr. CC.' Mind said.

They all retired from the Brain and took the Blood stream down to the Liver which was looking pale and yellow indeed.

'Hi, ' Mind said, 'you don't look well.'
'Well, ' Liver said, 'I am not well. Look around me.

Mind looked around and saw cells dying in the area around the valves which fed blood to Liver.
'My God, 'Mind said, 'this is horrible.'

Suddenly off to the side he saw green blood cells, enormous in size coming toward the group.

[...] Read more

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Breakdown

Breakdown, shakedown again
Breakdown, over you
Breakdown, way down again
Breakdown, over you, over you
Just when our love appeared to be
Growing strong
And just when you believed that
We both belonged
You catch me out a cheating and
Foolin round
You find that Im lyin
I feel like Im dyin
Here I come cryin again
Breakdown, shakedown again
Breakdown, over you
Breakdown, way down again
Breakdown, over you, over you
I put you through this whole
Affair before
I broke it up, you broke it up even more
Then I begged you to patch it all
Up again
Why did you listen to me
You should have let it all be
You shouldnt put all your trust me
Breakdown, shakedown again
Breakdown, over you
Breakdown, way down again
Breakdown, over you, over you
Breakdown, let down again
Breakdown, over you
Breakdown, straight down again
Breakdown, over you, over you

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Lazy Eye

The world spins round the secret lives
Of everyone that needs to hide
A cheap parade of endless lies
Filters through this lazy eye
And I dont believe in signs
No, I dont believe your lies
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Lose yourself in no ones life
Trapped in nowheres empty light
Words like fists that tear you down
Crash before we hit the ground
And I dont believe in signs
No, I dont believe your lies
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
And I dont believe in signs
No, I dont believe your lies
No, I dont believe your lies
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Caught in the breakdown
Breakdown
Caught in the breakdown

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Breakdown

Words & music: michael w. smith and wayne kirkpatrick
Wasnt it long ago
Wasnt it on a new england coast
Wasnt it the standard - people praying to
The son and the father and the holy ghost
One nation over god
Is that what weve now become?
The founding fathers left a noble legacy
To their sons and daughters
To their sons and daughters
Look at what weve done
Look at what weve done
Chorus:
Breakdown, breakdown, breakdown
As we learn to bite the hand
That tries to feed us
Breakdown, breakdown, breakdown
If we say that we are free
Who will believe us
If we breakdown, breakdown, breakdown
Breakdown, break
See the powder on the glass
See the pillow on the street
See the charter of a modern love
With no obligations...or promises to meet
Hear the fear of disease
Hear the baby never born
Hear a people crying out
Somebody save us - oh, please somebody save us
From what were headed for - from what were headed for
Chorus
Breakdown, breakdown, breakdown
As we learn to bite the hand
That tries to feed us
Breakdown, breakdown, breakdown
Chorus

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Comminication Braekdown

We never walk We never talk
We never find the time To be close again
There it goes again
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
Too much concern for money to burn
Too many things to do Now you don't need me
And I don't need you
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
One by one They fail Now the leaves our lover
Cling to the ground
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
Too much too soon Too much temptation
In a hurry It's a sad situation
Too much worry I can tell Well it's over now
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
There it goes
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
When it's right, it's all right
When it's wrong, it's all wrong
When it's gone, it's all gone
It's too late
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
I can tell Well it's over now
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown

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Communication Breakdown

Roy orbison
We never walk we never talk
We never find the time to be close again
There it goes again
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
Too much concern for money to burn
Too many things to do now you dont need me
And I dont need you
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
One by one they fail now the leaves our lover
Cling to the ground
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
Too much too soon too much temptation
In a hurry its a sad situation
Too much worry I can tell well its over now
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
There it goes
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
When its right, its all right
When its wrong, its all wrong
When its gone, its all gone
Its too late
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown
I can tell well its over now
Communication breakdown
Communication breakdown

song performed by Roy OrbisonReport problemRelated quotes
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Real Gone Lover

Im a real gone lover
Im hip, Im in the know
Im a real gone lover
Im hip, Im in the know
And if ya love me one time
Youll soon come back for more
Come over to my pad
Come over to my pad and play
Come over to my pad
Come over to my pad and play
Like the old saying goes
When sunshines, lets make hay
Well, Im a nervous fella (hes a nervous fella)
Im a nervous fella (hes a nervous fella)
Im a little-little nervous fella
(hes a nervous fella)
Im a little-little nervous fella
(hes a nervous fella)
Im a nervous fella
Dont make me wait all night
Im a real gone lover
Im hip, Im in the know
(sing it with me)
Im a real gone lover
Im hip, Im in the know
And if ya love me one time
Youll soon come back for more
(come on over babe)
Come over to my pad
Come over to my pad and play
(come on over)
Come over to my pad
Come over to my pad and play
(come over baby) (ooo, Im comin)
Like the old saying goes
When the sun shines, lets make hay, ha
Im a nervous fella (Im a real gone lover)
Im a nervous fella (ho, Im a real gone lover)
Im a n-n-n-nervous fella (and Im a real gone lover)
Im-m-m a n-n-n-nervous fella (and Im a real gone lover)
Im a nervous fella
So dont make me wait all night
(sing one more time)
Im a nervous fella
(hes a nervous fella)
Im a nervous fella
(and Im a real gone lover)
Im a n-n-n nervous fella
(ooo, hes a nervous fella)
Im a n-n-n nervous fella

[...] Read more

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Breakdown

Getting near the end, now I knew the time was right for a breakdown.
Megaton surprise but your eyes never made it a shakedown.
Shot you full of rock n roll, couldnt make your soul,
Didnt burn you to the bone.
Do what the man says, take the money and run.
But, I never saw the splendour
In stealing all your gold,
Taking all your silver
And doing what Im told.
I never saw the tears but I knew you cried for rhythm n blues.
Screaming like a wildcat I knew that I had nothing to lose.
Shot you full of rock n roll, couldnt make your soul,
Didnt burn you to the bone.
Do what the man says, take the money and run.
But, I never saw the splendour
In stealing all your gold,
Taking all your silver
And doing what Im told.
Its just a breakdown,
Breakdown,
Breakdown,
Breakdown.
Shaking like a leaf in the wind see me blowing away.
Never see me fall on the ground till Ive had my say.
Shot you full of rock n roll, couldnt make your soul,
Didnt burn you to the bone.
Do what the man says, take the money and run.
But, I never saw the splendour
In stealing all your gold,
Taking all your silver
And doing what Im told.
Its just a breakdown,
Breakdown,
Breakdown,
Its just a breakdown.
(solo)
Getting near the end, now I knew the time was right for a breakdown.
Megaton surprise but your eyes never made it a shakedown.
Shot you full of rock n roll, couldnt make your soul,
Didnt burn you to the bone.
Do what the man says, take the money and run.
But, I never saw the splendour
In stealing all your gold,
Taking all your silver
And doing what Im told.
Its just a breakdown,
Breakdown,
Breakdown,
Breakdown.

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I'm Bad

bad bad bad bad bad
bad bad bad bad bad
bad bad bad bad
I was bas born
I'd be badder when I die
I'm bad when I am sober
I'm badder when I'm high
I'm when I feel good
I'm bad when I'm blue
I'm bad to myself
So I'll be bad to you
So I'll be bad to you
I should've been good
Look at the trouble I've had
I would if I could
But I'm just bad
bad bad bad bad bad
bad bad bad bad
I'm, bad and I'm alive
I'll be badder when I'm dead
I'm bad in my body
man I'm badder in the head
I'm bad in the bed
Something wrong from the start
Guilt in my mind
Evil in my heart
Evil in my heart
I don't need to be happy
I don't care if I'm sad
I don't care about nothin'
Cause I'm bad bad bad bad bad
bad bad bad bad
Don't lend me a dollar
Don't lend me a dime
Don't lend me your wife
She'll have a good time
I'm bad in my car
I'm badder when I'm home
I'm bad when I'm with you
And I'm badder all alone
I'm a low down worm
I'm a conquering worm
I'm a blood-suckin' worm
I'm a slime baitin' worm
I'll put you on the hook
And I'll watch you squirm
I could never learn
Any young turks new tricks
I could never learn
Not to kick against the pricks

[...] Read more

song performed by Violent FemmesReport problemRelated quotes
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Drivin With Your Eyes Closed

I met a frenchman in a field last night
He was out there with an easel,
Painting carnival light
He said, I used to paint the princess;
I used to paint the frogs
Now I paint mustaches on dangerous dogs
He said, sometimes its a country;
Sometimes its a girl
You, everybody got to have a purpose
In this world
You yankees are so silly about matters of
The heart
Dont you know that women are the only
Works of art
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre gonna hit somethin
But thats the way it goes
Some guys were born to rimbaud
Some guys breathe baudelaire
Some guys just got to go and put
Their rockets everywhere
You can breed em by the thousands;
You can trick and you can train
Just look at all those poor dogs that are
Dragged down bu the seine
How many arrows must I shoot into the
Blue?
Ah, you little maniac, Im crazy over you
Before the dearth of lovers and
The punishment of pride
Lets go scrape out on the terrazzo
Its just to hot outside
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre gonna hit somethin
But thats the way it goes
Talk talk, talk and talk
Talk talk, sweet talk
Talk talk, tough talk
Talk talk, dirty talk
Talk talk, walk and talk
Talk talk, big talk
Kiss kiss, kiss
Talk talk, talk and talk
Talk talk, smooth talk
Talk talk, body talk
Talk talk, back talk

[...] Read more

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American Girls

Darling, Im afraid to close my eyes when Im going to bed
Im afraid youll crack the phone down over my head
Why are all american girls so rough?
Damn, that girl cant ever hurt you enough
Lady (lady), you knock me on my knees and I cant stand up
You got the look in your eye and you smack my butt
Why are all american girls so rough?
Why do all american girls act so tough?
Why are all american girls so rough?
Darling, Im afraid to close my eyes when Im goin to bed
Im afraid youll crack the phone down over my head
Why are all american girls so rough?
Damn, that girl cant ever hurt you enough
Lady (lady), you knock me on my knees and I cant stand up
You got that look in your eye and you smack my butt
Why are all american girls so rough?
Why do all american girls act so tough?
Why are all american girls so rough?
That hole youre digging in my ribs
It aint no real wound
So baby take it easy
Lets try to be friends
Why are all american girls so rough?
Damn, that girl cant ever hurt you enough
Lady (lady), you knock me down on my knees and I cant stand up
You got the look in your eye, you smack my butt
Why are all american girls so rough?
Why do all american girls act so tough?
Why are all american girls so rough?
American girls
American girls
Why are all american girls so rough?
American girls
American girls
American girls
Why are all american girls so rough?
American girls
American girls
American girls
Why are all american girls so rough?
Why are all american girls so rough?

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Bad Bad Boy

Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Said Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Come take me to your house
Then Im gonna rip you off
Well I made my first kill
With the old town girl
She was the apple of her daddys eye
Well that woman looked up at me
And I said honey well be
Together till the day I die
But I lied
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Come take me to your house
Then Im gonna rip you off
There seems to be no end
Of women who are lookin for a man
My services dont come cheap
But I help out when I can
Tell them lies that they wanna hear
Andi really lead em on
Spend all of their money
And Im long, gone
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Come take me to your house
Then Im gonna rip you off
Ive got tastes for fast cars
I dont wanna settle down
The good life sure come s easily
With all the mugs around
The women they just come to me
I dont have to look around
I move into their homes with them
Then I move on
Im a bad, bad, boy
And Im gonna steal your love
Im a bad, bad, boy
Im gonna steal your love
Come take me to your house
Then Im gonna rip you off
Im a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad,bad, bad, bad, bad,bad,bad, bad, boy
Im bad, Im bad, Im bad, Im such a, such a bad, bad boy
Im gonna rip you off

[...] Read more

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Bad Brakes

Bad brakes whole car shakes
Looks like Im heading for a breakdown
Black smoke engine beginning to choke
I must be heading for a breakdown
I pulled up for a mouth of coca-cola
Down at samuels cafe
Saw a little spanish lady coming over
Said lady are you going my way she said o-lay
Bad brakes carburettor shakes
Looks like youre heading for a breakdown
Black smoke engine beginning to choke
We must be heading for a breakdown
We hit the road at 90 miles an hour
Heading for frisco bay
She said senor you got cop on your shoulder
I said oh now wed better not stay
We got to get away with our
Bad brakes carburettor shakes
Looks like were heading for a breakdown
He was catching up nose right inside our mirror
When the motor blowed
We climbed out and she began to shiver
Oh no sir please let us go
He said dont you know you got
Bad brakes carburettor shakes
Looks like you bought yourself a breakdown
Black smoke engine beginning to choke
And youve got yourself a breakdown
Bad brakes engine beginning to shake
Looks like weve got ourselves a breakdown
Black smoke engine beginning to choke
We got ourselves a breakdown

song performed by Cat StevensReport problemRelated quotes
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Bad Girl

Bad Girl"
Sho nuff
Shawty
What it do?
Oooooooh
Pimpin', oh boy
uh
What y'all know about a supermodel
Fresh outta Elle magazine
Buy her own bottles
Look pimp juice, I need me one
Bad than a mutha
I hear you sayin'
I need a bad girl
If you're a bad girl
Playas when you see me
Act like you know me
I keep a dollar worth of dimes
You know pimpin' ain't easy
For all my chicks in the club
Who knows how to cut a rug
If you're a bad girl
Get at me bad girl
[Chorus]
Ooh work me baby
Shakin' it the way I like
I'm ready to be bad
I need a bad girl (say yeah)
Get at me bad girl
What sexy lady's comin' home with me tonight?
I'm ready to be bad
I need a bad girl (super bad baby)
Get at me bad girl
Now I've seen a lotta broads
All on one accord
Everyone looked the same but
Take a look at my dame (my dame)
Fo' sho', she take that Hpnotiq or Alize
There ain't much more I can say but (I need a)
I need a bad girl (bad girl)
If you're a bad girl
Got one thou' on the bar now
Chick need a drink on the flo' now
Look at them bad girls movin' it
Makin' faces while they doin' it
Oh, I wanna take one to the restroom
So close I'm smellin' like your perfume
If you're a bad girl
Get at me bad girl
[Chorus]

[...] Read more

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Mama Talk To Your Daughter

Talk to your daughter
(J B Lenoir)
Mama, mama please talk to your daughter bout me
Mama, mama please talk to your daughter bout me
She made me love her and I aint gonna leave her be
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
She made me love her and I aint gonna leave her be
I aint gonna stand no quitting and she wont have me around
I aint gonna stand no quitting and she wont have me around
If she got me a ride, shed be six feet in the ground
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
She made me love her and I aint gonna leave her be
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
You should talk to your daughter (talk, talk)
She made me love her and I aint gonna leave her be

song performed by Robert PalmerReport problemRelated quotes
Added by Lucian Velea
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Dont Talk To Strangers

When you were just a young girl and still in school
How come you never learned the golden rule
Dont talk to strange men, dont be a fool
Im hearing stories, I dont think thats cool
Why dont you tell me, someone is loving you
Cause youre my girl, some say its no longer true
Youre seeing some slick continental dude
Im begging you, please
Dont talk to strangers, baby dont you talk
Dont talk to strangers, you know hell only use you up
Dont talk, dont talk, dont talk,
Dont talk, dont talk to him
Nobody, talk, nobody, ever told you, dont talk
Now tell me, hows life in the big city
I hear the competitions tough, baby thats a pity
And every mans an actor, every girl is pretty
I dont like whats getting back to me
Now whos this, don juan Ive been hearing of
Love hurts when only ones in love
Did you fall at first sight or did you need a shove
Im begging you, please
Dont talk to strangers, baby dont you talk
Dont talk to strangers, you know hell only use you up
Dont talk, dont talk, dont talk,
Dont talk, dont talk to him
Nobody, talk, nobody ever told you, dont talk
*fais lamour avec moi (*make love to me)
Whats he saying baby
*viens dormir, mon amour (*come to sleep my love)
I asked you not to talk to him
*je taime donne moi ton coeur ce soir (*i like you to give me your heart this night)
Im begging you
Dont talk to strangers, baby dont you talk
Dont talk to strangers, you know hell only use you up
Dont talk, dont talk, dont talk,
Dont talk, dont talk to him
Nobody, talk, nobody ever told you, dont talk
Dont talk to strangers, baby dont you talk
Dont talk to strangers, you know hell only use you up
Dont talk to strangers, baby dont you,
Baby dont you talk,
Dont talk to strangers

song performed by Rick SpringfieldReport problemRelated quotes
Added by Lucian Velea
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