The 'Body Size Advantages' Quartette.....[LONG; Human Body Size and Behavior; Humor? ]
The Advantages of Being Fat
Some may laugh when they read this title,
since for many American females (and males) slimness is an idol.
I admit a fat figure doesn't make me smile;
I'm attracted more easily, physically, to the anorexic style.
I know not all will think the same,
and some may think my thinking's lame,
but I believe it's true for both fat men and women
that in their lives less breaks they're given.
I don't mean grossly obese like a hippo,
but with REALLY BIG love handles, not just a ripple.
I myself could stand to lose some pounds.
It's not as easy as to some it sounds.
But I've taken up the task so now I must
speak of 'Advantages' of being fat. It's that or bust.:
Being fat can help anchor you in a storm,
and extra layers of fat in winter helps to keep you warm.
On a bus you can hold more stuff on your lap,
and few would dare to give your face a slap.
You can forge your way right through a crowd
and command attention without being loud.
You can push open doors that are heavy or stuck
and rock out of a muddy rut your pickup truck.
You can set a bowl of ice cream on your belly while in bed,
then, later, after ice cream, offer your navel-cushion to your lover's head.
Well I guess those are the 'Advantages' I can think of now.
A little applause would be nice when I take my bow.
The Advantages of Being Slender
When I think of someone, male or female, who is slender,
I picture someone who drinks each meal from a blender.
For breakfast there's wheat germ mixed with yogurt and with cherry juice.
For lunch almonds and prunes all chopped well, but not very loose.
Supper boasts broccoli, yams, and small portions of a goose.
(Snacks are juices of celery and carrots, and kiwi and peach.)
In America we often hear the 'benefits of being slender',
yet McDonalds feeds more people than are fed from a blender.
It's no wonder. To hear how many are poor in U.S. is quite a shock,
while McDonalds, with its dollar menu, is found on many a block.
But I must start listing 'Advantages of Being Slender', as I watch my clock.
(I'll try to be honest and from the truth not far reach.)
I'm not referring to people who are nearly just bones and skin,
but those without love handles. Call them not skinny, but thin.
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poem by Bri Edwards
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