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Her Majesty's Prison Low Moss

Welcome to our brand new home,
It's everything and more,
En-suite bathrooms covered in chrome,
Nothing in here is a chore.

No mortgage, council tax or rent,
All-inclusive is our pad,
In our quest for more we'll not relent,
Society has gone bloody mad.

Drugs and drink all on hand,
While the recession's making you gaunt,
Nothing we want in here is banned,
Our criminality we love to flaunt.

Flat screen TVs with satellite,
A licence we don't need,
Fed like a Lord both day and night,
They supply our every need.

Life is bliss in our luxury gaffe,
But somehow we'll get by,
We know you think we're having a laugh,
But in here sadness doesn't apply.

We'd love to thank you for being so kind,
But in truth we couldn't care less,
It's our aim in life to be confined,
That's why we all transgress.

Do you really believe a luxury cell,
Will help our souls to mend,
Being crime free is like living in hell,
That's why we re-offend.

You compensate us for committing crime,
It just doesn't make any sense,
It's part of the reason we love doing time,
Your powerbrokers must be dense.

We will always end up back in here,
It's like a holiday without the sun,
To the law of the land we will never adhere,
Being in prison is so much fun.

So we thank you for our new hotel,
It's the ultimate place to doss,
While you're struggling we'll all sleep well,
In,

[...] Read more

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