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A Cocksure Chat-Up Line (Sonnet)

I suppose my chances are virtually zero
Of ever becoming a TV hero,
But couldn't you love me anyway,
I'm young and I'm virile and I'm not gay! !

Are you so hung-up on celebrity
That you wouldn't consider a guy like me?
I'm supposed to be very good in bed
And I'll give you the ecstasy that wakes up the dead!

Have you ever had a better chance
Of a really exciting, fantastic romance?
I bet my love makes you weak in the knees
'Cos I'm truly the expert on the birds and the bees!

But if you prefer to be famous and rich
Then that's up to you, you stuck-up bitch!
Just wait till you're older, you'll come crawling to me
And beg for forgiveness and then we'll see

Just who is the winner and who stands to lose
When I laugh you to scorn with your middle-aged blues! !

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