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Advice To A 'Sensitive' Boy

If you bought me a bunch of roses
I'd call you a silly fool,
Like that time you carried my satchel
All the way home from school,

But if you want to impress me
Pretend you don't really care,
Stop preening yourself in the mirror
And worrying about your hair!

Chivalrous acts are wasted
On me as a general rule,
I just think you're a sissy -
You're certainly not very cool! !

Don't write me beautiful poems
About love and your soul's despair -
You must be a fool to imagine
That someone like me would care! !

No, don't be so bloody serious,
I just want a bit of fun,
You're making yourself a spectacle,
Laughed at by everyone!

I'd rather go to a disco
And get drunk as a skunk with a friend
Than listen to some young poet
Who swears that his love won't end! !

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