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Poor Man In Cyber Space

he got no
emails
or if there are any
they are
all spams.

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Five Friendly Flitterbye Fairies!

Five friendly fairies were twiddling their thumbs!
Agreeing quite wisely how tedium numbs!
'If only the humans believed we exist,
They'd wish on a star and our aid they'd enlist!
They'd welcome us fairies as five friendly folks!
They'd tell us new stories and jovial jokes!
They'd pour out their sorrows and thank God we cared!
They'd offer us sweeties for wisdom we shared!
They'd bring back the sparkle that once filled our wings!
They'd listen to songs that each flitterbye sings!
Us flitterbyes sit on their rooftops each night!
We know all their dreams while we're hid out of sight!
We used to be famous in forests worldwide!
But Man has sawed trees down, where can we abide?
If only us fairies could help in some way!
We can't keep on twiddling our thumbs night and day!
Let's help their computers! Let's send their emails!
Let's lead them to tutors! Both males and females!
If not, we'll all perish, forgotten, dismissed!
For nobody loves what has ceased to persist! '
So up stood the fairies as friendly could be,
Determined to help with elect trickery!
Bearing new emails they flew across space
Taking each thought to that one special place,
That one special person who loves fairies, too!
God blesses flitterbyes! How about YOU! ?

poem by Denis Martindale
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Preacher Needs More Ram

I took the modem off the podium...
Just before the preacher sneezed!
I asked a doctor in a pew...
If the sneeze would spread disease?
And Doctor Blye looked in my eyes,
As if I was there for church.
I looked him up and down and said,
'I am here doing research! '

I came to hook the preacher up,
To a new connection!
He wanted all his emails sent...
And downloaded to the chatrooms.
I came to hook the PC up for online sessions!
But the preacher is displeased...
'Cause the modem seems to need,
More ram!

I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet,
When the preacher's sermon's heated!

I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?

I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
I hear the people pat their feet,
When the preacher's sermon's heated!

I'm in the house of the Lord,
And the preacher needs more ram!
Oh Lord...
What do I do with the modem?

I came to hook the preacher up,
To a new connection!
He wanted all his emails sent...
And downloaded to the chatrooms.
I came to hook the PC up for online sessions!
But the preacher is displeased...
'Cause the modem seems to need,
More ram!

oh Oh OHHH....

I'm in the house of the Lord,

[...] Read more

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Just live a good life

I wake up early this morning
Opening my computer
To read the emails and to
Write some thoughts in my mind
You pop out on the screen
With a big Good Day to me
You were fast on your pessimism
As I sip my coffee and read you
The world is ending
The climates changed
There is so much CO2
Humans have become
Slanderers and blasphemers
And God shall take his day
For this world’s destruction

I ask, if you have taken coffee
A pineapple juice or simply tea
I ask, if you had good sex last night
With your wife or someone else
I ask, if you are writing another poem
I ask, if you are taking a morning walk
With your dog or your son or daughter
I ask, if you have seen the sun rise
I ask, if you had a nice conversation
With a friend or an officemate
I ask, if you are living a good life
I ask, if you are being good and taking
Care of yourself, if you are praying, if
You are on the good side of the fence

You may not answer, I am taking a walk
I have just written a poem, I am answering
Emails of friends, I am seeing a beautiful
Sunrise today, its rays coming out from the trees.

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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0126 A Longstanding Question

It’s rather a delicate personal matter…
I could of course say I’m just asking for a friend…
but I guess You’d see through that, from what I hear…

I wouldn’t trouble You, but
it’s not a question that concerned Adam
since he had no comparative physiology
any more than he had comparative theology…
so it didn’t matter a figleaf to him…

and Moses had the bigger picture in mind, and in his position
had to keep up with the Tablets
to use a medical term which
we might refer to later…

as for Jesus, well it didn’t affect him personally, of course,
even as Son of Man,
unless of course the Da Vinci Code is true
but I’d rather not pursue such maudlin thoughts
with You…

and the new Pope hasn’t yet pronounced on this
though I can guess he won’t be keen
even if he’s slept on it;
anatomically, at least…

it’s like this:
I get an awful lot of emails from complete strangers
who seem to know my wife’s mind better than I
suggesting that, well, she’d be happier if,
you know, my *thing* were longer
(and presumably thicker, though
they make less of this…as if that’s slightly indecent…)

and then, they go on to say that my wife
(who likes her eight hours, and
I have to leave early for work)
would be even happier if
I took certain tablets…

even insidiously suggesting that
if I don’t keep up with the Joneses in this
I might lose her to Mr Jones…
I guess they haven’t met my wife, or Mr Jones,
as I was saying to Mrs Jones only the other evening:

Now as the Creator of men, who seems to have handed out
a pretty wide variety of these anatomical details, rather
than, as we might expect, a Standard Size (and I don’t like to
question Your authority, but

[...] Read more

poem by Michael Shepherd
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Free Shopping

Bed and bath
and beyond gifts
Utopia
Jobs needed
for immediate hiring
U.S. stimuls package
a facebook survey
unemployment bonus
a letter of collection
an email from a friend
asking if i have money
to lend

all these spams
i have just deleted

i am getting a slice
of my day
for a morning walk
with you

this world
is a deception.

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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~A Tamil Woman`s Hedonism~

When brahmins they say they are i would say we brahminized them
If work makes them chauvinists i would argue we nationalized them
A section of conservative women who would perhaps never indianize
Representing the indian communion state speaking for shame no national language to vandalize
The highest rate of infidelity is their clan
No matter if marriage was their own choice or a family`s money saving plan
And their men if not extraordinary they would sell their women to bosses for a promotion glide
And argue in the bargain their not so enticing charm not enough for
the social joyride

And then the language what they argue to be aramaic
Its like when your motions get loosened by something called digestion toxic
Their men have privatized engineering with not much enthusiastic success
Most men are from other sides while they enjoyed a corrupt recess
The richest indian state is not theirs
And they could never fight any battle to be worthy motherlands heirs
Rice they are made up of what the east make them learn
And curd they mix in what they variated to earn
Coconuts and tamarinds are their veins and arteries
when the nation needs atomic and renewable energies bargaining worries
Very often many gets spams from this women
They say they have rich backgrounds, education to spin evil omen
They manage water of a river harvesting their usury of urine
And then passes buck claming others to be swine

Their clan of women are a nations liability
Their ugliness adds to only their mens mental complex instability
They have given the nation only curry leaves and curry boys
And terrorism to immigrate for jealousy and asylum convoys
Their best would never marry another indian culture and heritage
And asked reasons they brag their nasty adage
For money they would like become tempted slave a yours
So tainted they are that they would not bother to be corporate whores
To tame other rich community men they would hang jasmines in hair
Ask them if they have had build any technology any management productive to the world-
go they mute and no answer
This clan of women only uses men for petty success
Even if rupees have to exchange ringgits for official progress
This brand of women are a record most parasites
Like sulphates in cola and its combo in pesticides
Given a choice to be man i would never ride such black dirty hairy bushes
I would rather save my cowboy and ride a black Spanish Arab horse
even if a fountain of misfortune gushes

poem by Amit Ray
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Bug A Boo

you make me wanna throw my pager out the window tell MCI to cut the phone calls break my lease so i can move cause you a bug a boo a bug a boo i wanna put your number on the call block have AOL make my emails stop cause you a bug a boo you buggin what? you buggin who? you buggin me! and dont you see it aint cool its not hot that you be callin me stressin me pagin my beeper you're just non-stop and its not hot that you be leavin me messages every 10 minutes and then you stop by when i first met you

song performed by Destiny's Child from The Writing's On The Wall
Added by Lucian Velea
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I could go through a lot of my old emails from when I first started doing comics. Back then the lowest age of fans was like 15 or 16 up to people in their 20's and 30's.

quote by Jhonen Vasquez
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Ever since I'm done with Zim everyone thinks that I'm going to go back to comics. I've been flooded with emails asking me if I'm working on the new Johnny over and over again.

quote by Jhonen Vasquez
Added by Lucian Velea
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Sweet

Tell it like it is
He gets up real early on his mornin' drive
Down to the office for his 9 to 5
He drives a 94' two tone economy car
Loves to tell the local bands down at the bar
That he's the critic, yeah I can hook you up
I know everybody in the business
He flunked junior high band he couldn't march in time
He tried to write a song once, but he couldn't make it rhyme
He learned 2 or 3 chords on a pawn shop guitar
He just never quite had what it took to be a star
So he's a critic I work for the gazette man
I got a real job
He did a 5 star column on a band you never heard
He did a bluegrass review without an unkind word
He thought it was time to ask his boss for a raise
His boss said I can't even tell if anybody's even readin' your page
yeah
So he thought and he thought a little more
He caught a young hot star headed into town
Then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down
Here come the letters, the emails, the he faxes
They raised him to 20 thousand dollars after taxes
He's a happy critic yeah
He's rollin' in the dough
Man I could do this forever
This is easy
They're all readin' my column
Please don't tell my mama
That I write the music column for the gazette
She still thinks, that I play piano down at the cathouse
Let's get funky with this now boys
Play it on
Come on Shannon
There's ol' Bill jumpin' in
Glenn's layin' it down
Come on Shannon
Aah My man Steve
Man my fingers are gettin' tired Ya'll gonna have to hurry
This snappin' thing wearin' me out
Theres ol Shannon guess he was on a coffee break
They're gonna love you cause they already love me
Yeah It's the critic

song performed by Toby Keith
Added by Lucian Velea
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Dog Tagged

[CD]
Gotta work hard, Punch in my card,
Put my leash on (whip) must work faster
Gotta watch the stats, while I'm chained to the fax
Sit down and obey my master
Gotta run real fast, 'Til I'm home at last,
So I can get on with my life now,
No time for sleep, Gotta work & eat,
Gotta fit this all in somehow!
[CD & Jed]
(Bridge:)
Woah woah, woah woaaaaah
Woah woah, woah woaaaaah
Woah woah, woah woaaaaah
[CD]
Gotta roll over and play dead,
If I want my measly pay cheque,
Gotta do everything the rich man sez,
My finances he can just wreck?
Better clear the room, we gotta meet up soon,
Only 4 hours for recording,
Better edit it soon, can't live by the moon.
Gotta get up for work in the morning.
[CD & Jed]
(Bridge:)
Woah woah, woah woaaaaah
Woah woah, woah woaaaaah
Woah woah, woah woaaaaah
[Jed]
(Chorus:)
Don't give in
Start living
We can win this war
We're dog tagged
Bound & gagged
Ain't gonna fight for them no more
[CD]
Gotta do as I'm told, & Put my life on hold,
No emails calls or contact
Gotta pay my tax, face up to the facts
My life's here in their contract
Gotta turn our home, into a studio,
On a chance that we might make it
No point denying, we gotta keep trying,
Cos I don't think I can take it

song performed by Urban Clearway
Added by Lucian Velea
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I read our emails every day and I know there are people out there who think I'm awful.

quote by Dan Abrams
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I've had more than 12,000 emails from the United States. It's not easy in the United States to find out the email address of a British parliamentarian.

quote by George Galloway
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The evidence that things are changing fast can be seen in the dramatic increase in the influence of blogging. We should be collecting emails as we used to collect telephone numbers and using them to better communicate our message to key voters.

quote by Adam Rickitt
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Google algorithm was a significant development. I've had thank-you emails from people whose lives have been saved by information on a medical website or who have found the love of their life on a dating website.

quote by Tim Berners Lee
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The Blackberry is really essential for keeping up on my emails when I'm out of the office, which is a lot.

quote by David Neeleman
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At present I answer about 100 letters a month, and read 300 emails.

quote by Piers Anthony
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The bulk of the emails tend to come after a column. I can get about 2,000 after a column.

quote by Nicholas D. Kristof
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The terrorists that we are up against today do not rely upon cell phones and SAT phones and emails. They rely on couriers. You cannot intercept what a courier is telling somebody.

quote by Oliver North
Added by Lucian Velea
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Apart

We've drifted
So much
Apart
That the
Smses
And
Emails
Are
At the
Touches of
Our fingers
But
Writing
Something
To each other
Remains
Miles apart.

poem by Aparna Chatterjee
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