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Where Am I Now In This World Of 'Only Alone

WHERE AM I NOW IN THIS WORLD OF ‘ONLY ALONE’?

Where am I now in this world of ‘only alone’?
I am not ‘only alone’ now
It has been a long time
Since I knew the real loneliness the devastating loneliness the loneliness of doubting the reality and value of my own existence-
A long time since I had to hesitate before each and every small decision
Before time of completely lost confidence in myself
Before the time of terrible fear of losing myself completely-

Yet when I last week at the fresh grave of a good acquaintance
Suddenly I sensed again the ultimate ‘only alone’
And feared that one day not so long from now
All the love in the world
And all the help of others
And all the kindness and caring
Will not prevent
The final ‘only alone’
The one the non- believer knows
Goes on ‘forever’
And I pray will not be as real as it seems.

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