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Duck an' Fowl

Now, when a bloke 'e cracks a bloke fer insults to a skirt,
An' wrecks a joint to square a lady's name,
They used to call it chivalry, but now they calls it dirt,
An' the end of it is cops an' quod an' shame.
Fer insults to fair Gwendoline they 'ad to be wiped out;
But Rosie's sort is jist fair game-when Ginger ain't about.

It was Jimmie Ah Foo's cook-shop, which is close be Spadger's Lane,
Where a variegated comp'ny tears the scran,
An' there's some is 'tup'ny coloured,' an' some is 'penny plain,'
Frum a lawyer to a common lumper-man.
Or a writer fer the papers, or a slaver on the prowl,
An' noiseless Chows a-glidin' 'round wiv plates uv duck an' fowl.

But if yeh wanted juicy bits that 'ung around Foo's perch
Yeh fetched 'em down an' wolfed 'em in yer place.
An' Foo sat sad an' solim, like an 'oly man in church,
Wiv an early-martyr look upon 'is face;
Wot never changed, not even when a toff upon a jag
Tried to pick up Ginger's Rosie, an' collided wiv a snag.

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poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Cathloda — Duan II

Fingal, returning with day, devolves the command on Duth-maruno, who engages the enemy, and drives them over the stream of Turthor. Having recalled his people, he congratulates Duth-maruno on his success, but discovers that that hero had been mortally wounded in the action — Duth-maruno dies. Ullin, the bard in honor of the dead, introduces the episode of Colgorm and Strina-dona, which concludes this duan.

"WHERE art thou, son of the king?" said darkhaired Duth-maruno. "Where hast thou failed, young beam of Selma? He returns not from the bosom of night! Morning is spread on U-thorno. In his mist is the sun on his hill. Warriors, lift the shields in my presence. He must not fall like a fire from heaven, whose place is not marked on the ground. He comes like an eagle, from the skirt of his squally wind! in his hand are the spoil of foes. King of Selma, our souls were sad!"

"Near us are the foes, Duth-maruno. They come forward, like waves in mist, when their foamy tops are seen at times above the low-sailing vapor. The traveller shrinks on his journey; he knows not whither to fly. No trembling travellers are we! Sons of heroes call forth the steel. Shall the sword of Fingal arise, or shall a warrior lead?"

The deeds of old, said Duth-maruno, are like paths to our eyes, O Fingal! Broad-shielded Trenmor is still seen amidst his own dim years. Nor feeble was the soul of the king. There no dark deed wandered in secret. From their hundred streams came the tribes, to glassy Colglan-crona. Their chiefs were before them. Each strove to lead the war. Their swords were often half unsheathed. Red rolled their eyes of rage. Separate they stood, and hummed their surly songs. "Why should they yield to each other? their fathers were equal in war." Trenmor was there, with his people stately, in youthful locks. He saw the advancing foe. The grief of his soul arose. He bade the chiefs to lead by turns; they led, but they were rolled away. From his own mossy hill blue-shielded Trenmor came down. He led wide-skirted battle, and the strangers failed. Around him the dark-browed warriors came: they struck the shield of joy. Like a pleasant gale the words of power rushed forth from Selma of kings. But the chiefs led by turns, in war, till mighty danger rose: then was the hour of the king to conquer in the field.

"Not unknown," said Cromma-glas of shields, "are the deeds of our fathers. But who shall now lead the war before the race of kings? Mist settles on these four dark hills: within it let each warrior strike his shield. Spirits may descend in darkness, and mark us for the war." They went each to his hill of mist. Bards marked the sounds of the shields. Loudest rung thy boss Duth-maruno. Thou must lead in war!

Like the murmurs of waters the race of U-thorno came down. Starno led the battle, and Swaran of stormy isles. They looked forward from iron shields like Cruth-loda, fiery-eyed, when he looks from behind the darkened moon, and strews his signs on night. The foes met by Turthor's stream. They heaved like ridgy waves. Their echoing strokes are mixed. Shadowy death flies over the hosts. They were clouds of hail. with squally winds in their skirts. Their showers are roaring together. Below them swells the dark-rolling deep.

Strife of gloomy U-thorno, why should I mark thy wounds? Thou art with the years that are gone; thou fadest on my soul!

Starno brought forward his skirt of war, and Swaran his own dark wing. Nor a harmless fire is Duthmaruno's sword. Lochlin is rolled over her streams. The wrathful kings are lost in thought. They roll their silent eyes over the flight of their land. The horn of Fingal was heard; the sons of woody Albion returned. But many lay, by Turthor's stream, silent in their blood.

" Chief of Crathmo," said the king, " Duth-maruno, hunter of boars! not harmless returns my eagle from the field of foes! For this white-bosomed Lanul shall brighten at her streams; Candona shall rejoice as he wanders in Crathmo's fields."

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poem by James Macpherson
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Song of Unending Sorrow.

China's Emperor, craving beauty that might shake an empire,
Was on the throne for many years, searching, never finding,
Till a little child of the Yang clan, hardly even grown,
Bred in an inner chamber, with no one knowing her,
But with graces granted by heaven and not to be concealed,
At last one day was chosen for the imperial household.
If she but turned her head and smiled, there were cast a hundred spells,
And the powder and paint of the Six Palaces faded into nothing.
...It was early spring. They bathed her in the FlowerPure Pool,
Which warmed and smoothed the creamy-tinted crystal of her skin,
And, because of her languor, a maid was lifting her
When first the Emperor noticed her and chose her for his bride.
The cloud of her hair, petal of her cheek, gold ripples of her crown when she moved,
Were sheltered on spring evenings by warm hibiscus curtains;
But nights of spring were short and the sun arose too soon,
And the Emperor, from that time forth, forsook his early hearings
And lavished all his time on her with feasts and revelry,
His mistress of the spring, his despot of the night.
There were other ladies in his court, three thousand of rare beauty,
But his favours to three thousand were concentered in one body.

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poem by Bai Juyi
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Aspiring Miss DeLaine

(A CHEMICAL NARRATIVE)

Certain facts which serve to explain
The physical charms of Miss Addie De Laine,
Who, as the common reports obtain,
Surpassed in complexion the lily and rose;
With a very sweet mouth and a retrousse nose;
A figure like Hebe's, or that which revolves
In a milliner's window, and partially solves
That question which mentor and moralist pains,
If grace may exist minus feeling or brains.

Of course the young lady had beaux by the score,
All that she wanted,--what girl could ask more?
Lovers that sighed and lovers that swore,
Lovers that danced and lovers that played,
Men of profession, of leisure, and trade;
But one, who was destined to take the high part
Of holding that mythical treasure, her heart,--
This lover, the wonder and envy of town,

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poem by Francis Bret Harte
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Smart Woman (In A Real Short Skirt)

Smart Woman (in a real short skirt)
-----------------------------------
by Jimmy Buffett and Marshall Chapman
Bimbo limbo is where I been.
I know you know it's been wearin' me thin.
Times are changing, and I think it's time.
I'm rearranging all the guilt in my mind.
Chorus:
I'm looking for a smart woman in a real short skirt,
A smart woman who knows how to flirt,
A smart woman, got a mind of her own,
A smart woman who'll take me home,
Take me home.
I'm not your macho kind of guy,
But I can be so when I'm feeling shy.
Hey, baby, where'd you get your good looks?
Ooh, babe, I want to carry your books.
(CHORUS)
Beauty and brains (beauty and brains),
The best of both worlds (best of both worlds)

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song performed by Jimmy Buffett
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Crash Into Me

Youve got your ball
Youve got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Whos got their claws
In you my friend
Into your heart Ill beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
And sweet you roll
Lost for you Im so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream
Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
Im bare boned and crazy for you
When you come crash
Into me, baby

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song performed by Dave Matthews Band
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Crash

You've got your ball
you've got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
who's got the claws in you my friend
into your heart I'll beat again
sweet like candy to my soul
sweet you rock and sweet you roll
lost for you I'm so lost for you
you come crash into me
and i come into you, i come into you
ina boys dream
ina boys dream
Touch your lips just so i know
In your eye, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy for you
When you come crash into me, baby
And i come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream
If I've gone overboard

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song performed by Dave Matthews Band
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Bitchs Brew

I tell ya kinky
You foxy little flirt
I caught you in the biar path
Liftin up your skirt
Well let me tell ya
What you been doin in the firepatch
What you been doin with your little skirt
Got....
Youve been foolin with the bitchs brew
You know the things I told you not to do
You fell into the briar patch
Aint nothing gonna save your ass
Remember the things you said
The saving and the screams for bread
And now you just walked away
So take it away, all the way
Youre fooling with the bitchs brew
That aint the thing you ought to fool with
Now you keep your fingers out of there, honey
You know that aint no there

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song performed by Aerosmith
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Crack Me Up

Hello, feelin? happy, got peace of mind?
Hello, kimosabe, wont you be so kind
Tell all the fake facts jack, dirt n all
How longd it take you mac, tget the skirt to fall?
Hello mr. backstreet president, hello, hows it hangin? still shakin? her tent? dont it hurt, what shes sayin?
bout you to your back, dont it bother you at all?
You know you crack me up, really, really crack me up
Well hello, (hello) its a real bad line, just want the
Love of a good, good woman sometime
Sold to the man who has everything
Gold-caged madonna, sing mama, sing
Come on, get close, I forget how near
Move along now, theres nothin? to see round here
Can? you care about me, like I care about me?
Dont it bother you at all?
You know you crack me up, really, really crack me up
You crack me up, crack me up
Happy, feelin? happy, got peace of mind?
Hello kimosabe, wont you be so kind?
Tell all the fake facts jack, dirt n all

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song performed by Nazareth
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Pygmaeo-gerano-machia: The Battle Of The Pygmies and Cranes

From the Latin of Addison.

The pygmy-people, and the feather'd train,
Mingling in mortal combat on the plain,
I sing. Ye Muses, favour my designs,
Lead on my squadrons, and arrange the lines;
The flashing swords and fluttering wings display,
And long bills nibbling in the bloody fray;
Cranes darting with disdain on tiny foes,
Conflicting birds and men, and war's unnumber'd woes.

The wars and woes of heroes six feet long
Have oft resounded in Pierian song.
Who has not heard of Colcho's golden fleece,
And Argo mann'd with all the flower of Greece?
Of Thebes' fell brethren , Theseus stern of face,
And Peleus' son unrivall'd in the race,
Eneas founder of the Roman line,
And William glorious on the banks of Boyne?
Who has not learn'd to weep at Pompey's woes,

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poem by James Beattie
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