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Madam La Maquise

Said Hongray de la Glaciere unto his proud Papa:
"I want to take a wife mon Père," The Marquis laughed: "Ha! Ha!
And whose, my son?" he slyly said; but Hongray with a frown
Cried, "Fi! Papa, I mean - to wed, I want to settle down."
The Marquis de la Glaciere responded with a smile;
"You're young my boy; I much prefer that you should wait awhile."
But Hongray sighed: "I cannot wait, for I am twenty-four;
And I have met my blessed fate: I worship and adore.
Such beauty, grace and charm has she, I'm sure you will approve,
For if I live a century none other can I love."
"I have no doubt," the Marquis shrugged, "that she's a proper pet;
But has she got a decent dot, and is she of our set?"
"Her dot," said Hongray, "will suffice; her family you know.
The girl with whom I fain would splice is Mirabelle du Veau."

What made the Marquis start and stare, and clutch his perfumed beard?
Why did he stagger to a chair and murmur: "As I feared?"
Dilated were his eyes with dread, and in a voice of woe
He wailed: "My son, you cannot wed with Mirabelle du Veau."
"Why not? my Parent," Hongray cried. "Her name's without a slur.

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poem by Robert William Service
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2 Live Is What We Are...

1-2 1-2
I am the dominating fresh kid ice
And i am the brother marquis, marquis your brother
And introducing to you on the two turntables:
The treach dj mr. mixx
(word)
[ verse 1: brother marquis ]
We get the red carpet treatment cause we're well respected
Always accepted and never rejected
Our defense is made when we take the stage
The crowd gets excited and goes in a rage
Cause we're generating and demonstrating
All of the talents that we're accumulating
And by doing this we'll go real far
Because - 2 live is what we are
We're highly publicized and advertised
Our music's in your ear, our face in your eyes
We're good to go and goin to be good
We've done the right thing like you knew we would
Because we are here for your dancing pleasure

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song performed by 2 Live Crew
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Black Watch Memorial

Ye Sons of Mars, it gives me great content
To think there has been erected a handsome monument
In memory of the Black Watch, which is magnificent to see,
Where they first were embodied at Aberfeldy.

And as a Highland regiment they are worthy of what has been done for them,
Because a more courageous regiment we cannot find of men
Who have bravely fought and bled in defence of their country,
Especially in the Ruusian War and Soudan War they made their enemies flee.

The monument I hope will stand secure for many a long day,
And may the people of Aberfeldy always feel gay;
As they gaze upon the beautiful Black Watch monument,
I hope they will think of the brave soldiers and feel content.

'Twas in the year of 1887, and on Saturday the 12th of November,
Which the people of Aberfeldy and elsewhere will remember,
Who came all the way from Edinburgh, Glasgow, Perth and Dundee,
Besides the Pitlochry Volunteers headed the procession right manfully.

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poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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St. Julian's Prayer

TO charms and philters, secret spells and prayers,
How many round attribute all their cares!
In these howe'er I never can believe,
And laugh at follies that so much deceive.
Yet with the beauteous FAIR, 'tis very true,
These WORDS, as SACRED VIRTUES, oft they view;
The spell and philter wonders work in love
Hearts melt with charms supposed from pow'rs above!

MY aim is now to have recourse to these,
And give a story that I trust will please,
In which Saint Julian's prayer, to Reynold D'Ast,
Produced a benefit, good fortune classed.
Had he neglected to repeat the charm,
Believed so thoroughly to guard from harm,
He would have found his cash accounts not right,
And passed assuredly a wretched night.

ONE day, to William's castle as he moved.
Three men, whose looks he very much approved,

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poem by La Fontaine
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The Battle of Sheriffmuir

'Twas in the year 1715, and on the 10th of November,
Which the people of Scotland have cause to remember;
On that day the Earl of Mar left Perth bound for Sheriffmuir,
At the same time leaving behind a garrison under Colonel Balfour.

Besides leaving a force of about three thousand men quartered in different parts of Fife,
To protect the people's property, and quell party strife,
The army along with him amounted to three thousand foot and twelve hundred cavalry,
All in the best of order, a most pleasant sight to see.

The two armies bivouacked near Sheriffmuir during the night,
And around their camp-fires they talked concerning the coming fight.
The Duke of Argyle's English army numbered eight thousand strong,
Besides four hundred horse, posted in the rear all along.

And the centre of the first line was composed of ten battalions of foot,
Consisting of about four thousand, under the command of Clanranald and Glengarry to boot;
And at the head of these battalions Sir John Maclean and Brigadier Ogilvie,
And the two brothers of Sir Donald Macdonald of Sleat, all in high glee.

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poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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Check It Out Y'all... (freestyle Rappin')

[Mr. Mixx]
Check it out y'all
Ch-ch-check it out y'all
2 - 2 Live Crew
2 Li - 2 Li - 2 Li - 2 Live Crew
Fresh - Fresh - Fresh Kid Ice
Tre - Treach Dee Jay
Bro - Brother Marquis
Bus - Bust a rhyme
Verse 1: Brother Marquis
Extra extra, hear all the bad news
About the wacky-wack MCs and the ones like you
Because I've done everything that you have tried
And I've been accepted where you've been denied
I'm the M-A-R, the Q-U-I-S
Here to run down a rhyme at your request
I'm the New York born, who's sharp as a thorn
I came here tonight just to get it on
So listen up close and listen up well
Cause the Brother Marquis has a story to tell

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song performed by 2 Live Crew
Added by Lucian Velea
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A Small Glass Of Champagne

You atoned so sweetly, prepared a fun meal,
hamburgers with salad and cheese, ah, Mein
Herr Marquis, you are sweet, dancing around
in the kitchen, serving everyone - everything
placed on the griddle, kids happy, all forgiven

How could I even have doubted that you would
come around - Sean Connery blew up the evil
Fatima Blush - this is a fantastic evening, no
more complaints, a small glass of champagne
to celebrate all these peace offerings

Tomorrow Michelle from Merryhell will send me
a book by Sir Terry Pratchett - life is perfect -
I'm nearing the end of my small-scale irrigation
document, James Bond is blowing up ancient
stone temples, ah, Mein Herr Marquis

We shall have some music - Ah, wie ruhrt mich
dies… [Die Fledermaus]

poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Cello More Important Than Life

Your righteous indignation at my making two mistakes
that merely disturbed your complacency authorises you
to swear at me and sets you free from any need to apologise,
in this house I must reiterate how sorry I am and write letters
explaining why I messed up and became guilty of high treason
and should be shot for multiple shortcomings, the situation is
so bizarre it makes me laugh - Mein Herr Marquis, ein Mann
wie Sie … drum verzeihen Sie wenn ich lache - ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha [Die Fledermaus]

Your injured dignity forces you to ignore me pointedly - fine,
after laughing to my heart's content, the screensaver that gives
meaning to everyday routine, Timothy Dalton as 007 - The
Living Daylights - keeps my mind occupied; while you steam
and froth at the mouth, presenting like Le Malade Imaginaire
of Molière, waiting to execute me with the guillotine of your
mouth - I happily watch 007 rise to the occasion as he con-
fronts the KJB - while you prepare the devastating speech
that is meant to change me into Quasimodo himself

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poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Death and Burial of Lord Tennyson

Alas! England now mourns for her poet that's gone-
The late and the good Lord Tennyson.
I hope his soul has fled to heaven above,
Where there is everlasting joy and love.

He was a man that didn't care for company,
Because company interfered with his study,
And confused the bright ideas in his brain,
And for that reason from company he liked to abstain.

He has written some fine pieces of poetry in his time,
Especially the May Queen, which is really sublime;
Also the gallant charge of the Light Brigade-
A most heroic poem, and beautifully made.

He believed in the Bible, also in Shakspeare,
Which he advised young men to read without any fear;
And by following the advice of both works therein,
They would seldom or never commit any sin.

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poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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The Execution Of Montrose

COME hither, Evan Cameron!
Come, stand beside my knee:
I hear the river roaring down
Towards the wintry sea.
There ’s shouting on the mountain-side,
There ’s war within the blast;
Old faces look upon me,
Old forms go trooping past:
I hear the pibroch wailing
Amidst the din of fight,
And my dim spirit wakes again
Upon the verge of night.

’T was I that led the Highland host
Through wild Lochaber’s snows,
What time the plaided clans came down
To battle with Montrose.
I ’ve told thee how the Southrons fell
Beneath the broad claymore,
And how we smote the Campbell clan

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poem by William Edmondstoune Aytoun
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