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A Mother Doesn't Know...

Theirs times that you’re not around.
Theirs times it seems like you don’t care.
Theirs times I don’t see or speak to you.
Theirs times I question you.
Theirs times I don’t even care.
Theirs times I even wish I didn’t know you.
But what would I be without you?
Would I be different or would I be the same?
Have you changed my life?
Or did I change it on my own?
Was I different before?
How come you want nothing to do with me?
You leave me in the dust whenever you have the chance.
Doesn’t seem like you care.
If you do care you have a funny way of showing it.
We use to be like best friends.
I grew up and you kicked me off to the side.
Or did I kick you off?
So many questions.
Not enough answers.
Not enough time to even ask all the questions.
My mind feels like it’s going to explode.
Not enough time in the day to even express my feelings.
Not enough time to share my thoughts.
It never seems to be the right time.
When is the right time?
Is it today or tomorrow?
When will you be there again for me?
You went away so quick I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.
I guess drinking really got a hold of you.
Some have the will power and others don’t know how to say no.
How could you let drinking get to you?
When you have three kids.
Now two don’t even live with you.
Granted one of them is married.
But the other is still a young child.
Looks at you with disgrace.
You don’t even seem to notice.
While your family is breaking apart you just care about your glass filling up.
How do you live like that?
I know you’re not happy, so what’s bothering you?
You’ve been through a lot granted.
BUT SO HAVE I! !
Look what you’re doing to me.
What you think it doesn’t bother me?
It does but I guess that’s what blindness will do to you.
When will you notice me?
IM RIGHT HERE! !
Pick up the phone and call me sometimes.
Why do I always have to be the bigger person?

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