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Narcissus

A man's a mug. I've worked the 'ole thing out
To-day, down in the orchard where I sat
Runnin' the wheels red-'ot beneath me 'at,
An' wras'lin' fervud with a sudden doubt
A doubt wot's plugged me fair bang on the point
An' jolted all me glad dreams out uv joint.

It's been a pearlin' day. The birds above
Up in the trees sung fit to break their 'earts.
It seemed, some'ow, the 'ole world's makin' love,
Ixceptin' me. An' then an' there I starts
To think things out an' git me bearin's straight,
Becoz - Well, I ain't been meself uv late.

I've flopped. It was the parson put me wise,
Before 'e left. I 'ad been full uv skite.
I was the 'ero uv the piece all right.
Me chest was out, me 'ead was twice the size
It used to be. I felt I was king-pin.
Did n't the papers 'ave me photer in?

I was that puffed with pride I never stopped
To search me soul fer signs uv wear an' tear.
I loved meself so much I never dropped
To any blot or blemish anywhere.
The Lord 'Igh Muck-a-muck, wot done the trick,
An' dug the Murray with 'is little pick.

When I think back on it I go all 'ot.
I was that blind I never even seen,
Nor looked to see no changes in Doreen.
I was content to 'ave 'er on the spot
Dodgin' about the 'ouse in 'er calm way,
To chirp, 'Yes, Bill,' to everything I say.

The parson punchered me. 'E's alwiz 'ad
A trick uv callin' me by fancy names.
In town 'e christened me 'Sir Gally'ad,'
'Oo was, it seems, a knight wot rescued dames,
But never spoke out uv 'is turn to none,
Becoz 'is 'eart was pure. 'E took the bun.

But now 'Narcissy' is the moniker
'E wishes on me; an' I arst fer light.
'Narcissy?' I remarks. 'Don't sound perlite.
'Oo was this bird? There looks to be a slur
Or somethin' sly about that cissy touch.'
'A bloke,' 'e sez, ''oo liked 'imself too much.'
I looks quick fer that twinkle in 'is eye
Wot tells me if 'e's kiddin' me or not.

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