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Hiding the Edge

Running from me is tedious and often difficult
Because I see more crossroads than I should
Trying to cut the circle so it has a start and an end
I often rattle things that are strange and offend
Standing still while showering in a cold déjà vu
Thoughts at random deliver things I never knew

Hiding behind expressions and smiles untrue
Easy conversation covers the real things I do
With practice I'm the perfect magician in the light
While in darkness I find memories that I rewrite
Colorful chips of glass collected but definitely broken
Can never be surrendered to recycle for a token

Then sometimes bright mornings become dark nights
And I feel the rhythm of words spoken as last rites
Like waves of sadness shatter on sharp cliffs ahead
I struggle to find reason for the loss and the dead
Memories forgotten surface and become swiftly true
Right then I just live and smile while existing in view

The grey circle around my heart may turn black or white
Depending if I can face the sun and things are alright
Or if shadows silently hidden swallow all sound and love
Days appear at random and that - I am afraid to speak of
So - on some days better than on others I smile and chat
Not showing that I swim against the current like in combat

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