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I Realized Why I Hate Rejection

i hate being rejected,
i never understood until today,
it replays in my mind,
the day you told me,
that it was my fault,
it couldn't be the way it was,
when it was you and i,
i was a child,
you put the blame on me,
told me i opened my mouth,
and now things can never be the same,
i was a child,
everything you were doing to me,
just felt so wrong,
i enjoyed the attention,
looking back,
i don't think it was worth it,
there are memories i won't forget,
everything you did to me,
was set in stone,
it will never be undone or erased,
it will remain,
a memory i wish to distroy,
but i can't,
it's a memory and feeling,
that is hard to live with at times,
being told as a child,
that you wasn't good enough,
by a man who had no right,
and yet i'm the one hurting,
it don't feel fair,
you got what you enjoyed,
and i didn't even asked for it,
i was forced into doing it,
what i didn't want to do,
it no wonder i put myself,
in the same exact thing you put me in,
it feels right,
but at the same time,
i'm hallow and numb,
i don't feel nothing,
i'm not even sure if i want to feel something,
because feeling something means,
feeling the deep pain,
i let myself go years trying to forget,
it will all come flooding back,
all the pain is hard,
it don't seem to get easier.

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