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Rollercoaster Vagaries

Just when I capitulated and succumbed
Into the callous hands of contingency
You trespassed my penetralium
With agitated legs of confusion
You were a sedentary beast in an open field
Of bowing grass and seething sun -
You malingered without a purpose.

I watched you disentangled the tethers
That was long shorn and in a placid thought
I wondered if you didn't even know
The long months that it coiled scored
And what of fading does oblivion concern?
I ask you, where do all the things
That dementia took lingers?
I ask you, from what do you want
Me to run from; your sudden meddling?

Like a black bird at midflight
With wings relentless of the wind
You will beat on, but I will not
Enter your hopeful and painful vaults again

I wondered if your tongue was forked
And the eloquent laces are tied,
For your final words - words that I
Have long surmised and suffered from
Without being spoken because I was ahead
Yet I was also the one left out - your words
Is a cacophonous riddle that perhaps,
Even your sagacity cannot fathom

So In my buoyant esplanade
In the oblivious sea of psychasthenia
I searched for my lost musing
In the graves of the abysmal brine
That sent the open wounds to caustic effervescence
Excoriating the chain of logic to understand
Your rollercoaster vagary but it all drowned
With all my hollow-eyed cold corpses
Siphoned by the nights of two-way soliloquies

I dived for an empty answer
And the plethora of reasoning and unreasoning
Ceased at a pointblank end
How lovely it is out there in your place
That you have not learned of the apocalypse?

In these rollercoaster vagaries
You are the highest, the deepest

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