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Shakespearean Sonnet 1 Modernized

Hi, beautiful, having no suitors yet?
Make haste, and of yourself, do make copies,
That when you're dead, the grandchildren you'll get,
Will cause remembrance to your memories:
But you, bent on being a slim beauty,
Subsisted, at length, on your body fat,
Dieting, eating none when there's plenty,
Punishing yourself, severely at that:
You, who are the last show of youthfulness,
And from whose womb new life could have issued,
But now, really wasted to uselessness,
While childless, as siring you've not pursued:
....You all, single, married, abandoned wife,
....Tarry not, live: go make yourself a life.

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