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Two Faces In My Mind

there are always two remaining faces
that dominated my mind,

the first one has the face of the body that i want to sleep with
but which i cannot really live with
it is a cruise
perhaps only for three days
then i disembark looking for the next face,

the second is one that i want to spend the rest of my life
but which does not make me wonder
my imagination is shrinking
into a barren land, into shores without waves, into skies without
the stars, into a night deep into the woods
where jackals live

in both faces, my blue butterfly of love and affection
does not hover, as it merely flutters from one flower to another
unable to decide which one

i know the reason why
my soul is restless
my heart had long been dead

in both faces, i fear death no more,
where shall i go somehow is not my worry

i have placed my hands in the hands of God
let Him write everything, i shall face Him weeping

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