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NEWS -You don't want to get stopped up

My morning newspaper's late again
If I were desperate for news
Which I am not
I could the internet cruise

From CNN to the London Times
I could click here and there
Get second hand more news
Than I could bear

I want my newspaper in my hands
That is the point you see
To check high school sports
Working on my first cup of coffee

Make sure I'm not listed as an obit'
See what businesses have decided to quit
That's all the news that will fit
'Cause it's time for my AM s___!

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