Someone Stole My Cat!
I think somebody stole my cat.
It was here last night before I went out drinking and
having sexual relations with truck drivers.
Now it's not here and the window is open.
I didn't open the window;
I don't know who did.
Was it those aliens that abduct me sometimes,
make me dress up like Marilyn Monroe
and probe my orifices with chopsticks?
Did they come over again?
I told them to leave me alone!
Where did my cat go?
It's gone!
Someone must have taken it.
I WANT IT BACK!
So now I'm going around in a purple tutu to every house in my neighborhood
banging on doors asking
'Have you seen my cat? '
Most of the people just slam the door in my face
but some ask if I had a picture of it, which I don't.
They ask how they'd identify it,
and I say that I'm not sure.
Then I start dialing random cell phone numbers and
asking the people who answer if they'd seen my cat.
I get through to someone in Paraguay who curses me out in Spanish;
I don't think they have my cat.
In fact, I don't if anyone has my cat because I'm not sure it even exists.
Maybe I just imagined it
like I did with the baboon that I think lived in my closet
for a year before disappearing.
Its name was Fred but the voices in my head said its name was Steve.
I still called it Fred.
Anyway, if you see a cat somewhere it might be mine, though I'm not sure;
please return it to me regardless because I like cats.
Thanks.
poem by Newamba Flamingo
Added by Poetry Lover
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