Quotes about asshole
The Idiot Son Of An Asshole
NoFX - Idiot Son Of An Asshole lyrics
He's not smart, a C student
And that's after buying his way into school
Beady eyes, and he's kinda dyslexic
Can he read? No one's really quite sure
He signs stuff and he executes people
Maybe that's why, he doesn't have any friends
Cocaine and a little drunk driving
Doesn't matter, when you're the Commander in Chief.
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
(***not in the video version on The War On Errorism****
Put on some make-up, turn on the 8-Track,
I'm putting a week back on the shelf,
Suddenly I'm the President, of the United States,
But they I woke up, and realized I'm still me. )
He's too dumb, to eat pretzels, apparently smart enough to fix an election.
Moved boldly into the White House,
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song performed by NOFX
Added by Lucian Velea
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Idiot Son Of An Asshole
He's not smart, a C student
And that's after buying his way into school
Beady eyes, and he's kinda dyslexic
Can he read? No one's really quite sure
He signs stuff and he executes people
Maybe that's why, he doesn't have any friends
Cocaine and a little drunk driving
Doesn't matter, when you're the Commander in Chief.
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Put on some make-up, turn on the 8-Track,
I'm putting a week back on the shelf,
Suddenly I'm the President, of the United States,
But then I woke up, and realized I'm still me.
He's too dumb, to eat pretzels, apparently smart enough to fix an election.
Moved boldly into the White House,
but most people voted against him.
He likes naps, He really likes naptime, A couple of naps and then a nap and then he's ready for bed,
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song performed by NOFX
Added by Lucian Velea
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The Asshole Song
Well I was drivin' down I-95 the other night.
Somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad.
So I wrote a song about him instead.
It goes like this...
Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
'cause you're an asshole tonight.
Yes you're an A S S H O L E...
And don't you try to blame it on me.
You deserve all the credit.
You're an asshole tonight.
You were an asshole yesterday.
You're an asshole tonight.
And I've got a feelin'
you'll be an asshole the rest of your life.
And I was talkin' to your mother
just the other night.
I told her I thought you were an asshole.
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song performed by Jimmy Buffett
Added by Lucian Velea
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Pablo Picasso
Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Well the girls would turn the color
Of the avocado when he would drive
Down their street in his El Dorado
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like you
Alright
Well he was only 5'3"
But girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York
Oh well be not schmuck, be not obnoxious,
Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole
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song performed by David Bowie
Added by Lucian Velea
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Modern Dukes
Every time that I turn around
I just see the same old thing
Beg to try and to bring me back
To the place I couldn't keep
But I'm an asshole
Storm the castle
Burn the bridges
Down to the ground
Take no prisoners
We're just visiting
We don't care about anything
Thats the way these modern dukes will go
It's every man here for himself
Every time that I turn around
I just see the same old crap
Trucks are trying to grease the wheels
So that they can get laid back
But I'm an asshole
Storm the castle
Burn the bridges
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song performed by Weezer
Added by Lucian Velea
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A-hole
When I came home my stuff was on the lawn
I thought she was happy
But I was wrong
The note she left it took me be suprise
Said I'd turned into
Some other guy
The things she says that she gave up for me
she says it was a waste of her time
Guess I dont really know
What I was thinking
Would have thought we would float
But we kept sinkin' in
Things were so good
You were in love
With some other guy
He looked just like me
But I make you cry
You know I dont mean to
I'm just an asshole sometimes
I never saw myself as being alone
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song performed by Bowling For Soup
Added by Lucian Velea
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Asshole From El Paso
(chinga chavin, kenny snakebite jacobs)
We dont have no lovins in el paso
We dont go to porno picture shows
We dont swap our wives with our neighbors
And we keep our kids away from mexico.
And Im proud to be an asshole from el paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.
We dont wipe our asses on old glory,
God and lone star beer are things we trust.
We keep our women virgins till theyre married
So hosin sheep is good enough for us.
And Im proud to be an asshole from el paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.
Im proud to be an asshole from el paso
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song performed by Kinky Friedman
Added by Lucian Velea
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Bukowski
Woke up this morning and it seemed to me,
that every night turns out to be
A little more like Bukowski.
And yeah, I know he's a pretty good read.
But God who'd wanna be?
God who'd wanna be such an asshole?
God who'd wanna be?
God who'd wanna be such an asshole?
Well we sat on the edge of the river,
the crowd screamed, "Sacrifice the liver!"
If God takes life, he's an Indian giver.
So tell me now why, you'll tell me never.
Who would wanna be?
Who would wanna be such a control freak?
Well who would wanna be?
Who would wanna be such a control freak?
Well see what you wanna see. You should see it all.
Well take what you want from me. You deserve it all.
Nine times out of ten our hearts just get dissolved.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.
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song performed by Modest Mouse
Added by Lucian Velea
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Remembering An Account Executive
He had a back office in his older brother’s
advertising agency and understood the human asshole.
He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over
on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches
at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty
with different dressy women waiting in our front office.
We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers
and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears
with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued
hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.
Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings
because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor
bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind
began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears
I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:
that the last working television set in the world
would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL
at Armageddon, that it would have been written
by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.
in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel
[...] Read more
poem by Alan Dugan
Added by Poetry Lover
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Asshole
Your brains went black
When she took back her love
And put it out into the sun
The birds did fly
When the heavens all went dry
And the cigarettes were smoking by themselves
Shell do anything
Shell do anything
Shell do anything
To make you feel like an asshole
Call her name
She looks the same as you
With question-marks stretched across her skin
She dangles carrots
Makes you feel embarrassed
To be the fool you know you are
Shell do anything
Shell do anything
Shell do anything
To make you feel like an asshole
song performed by Tom Petty
Added by Lucian Velea
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